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modern love

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14 sep 11 13:16 - I learned it all the hard way.

I am pretty sure I have dust mites. My doctor wants me to go to another doctor, and then possibly an allergist, to be totally sure. I'm literally never alone. 

To make the most of my experience, I've been soaking in an oatmeal bath the past couple of nights. The bath is not killing my mites, but my body is so luscious and glowy after. Post-bath, I apply lavender-scented therapeutic body oil to all the areas they like to burrow: my underarms, my pelvis, my ankles. Who knew this plight would turn me into Mariah Carey, the ultimate caretaker of myself. 

31 mai 10 23:21 - into the black

Dennis Hopper checked out. I've only met him once, but in my head I cast him as this faraway, fantasy grandfather. I remember going to see him at this New York Times gala and asking him about a movie he directed, one of my favorites, Out of the Blue. This actress, Linda Manz, starred in it, she wore this Elvis blue jean jacket all throughout the movie that I've always coveted. Also: always coveted the way she talked, she had major 'tude. He was so glad I had watched it and wanted to know more about it -- guess everyone always prefers to talk about Easy Rider or Speed, ya know, or  the many other iconic roles in his long career. When he was younger he dated Natalie Wood, and in our short 20-minute conversation he told me I reminded him of her, which made me unnecessarily sentimental, because I was named after her. He was really patient and he looked at you straight in the eye, but it wasn't unsettling like I thought it'd be. You could tell he was a recovering addict of something because he totally threw himself into whatever he did with total intensity. Towards the end, it was hard to see the recent photos of him, just as heartbreaking a decline as Paul Newman's, though Dennis Hopper was nowhere near as universally adored. He reminded me of when my grandfather was dying of colon cancer: lotsa life left in a surly man, trapped inside a dying body, all bones and teeth. Trained in Shakespeare, sick art collection, photojournalist, Midwestern boy, burned bridges, profound gaze, played it to the bone. 

16 mai 10 17:14

My first Kombucha was like the reawakening of a memory. You feel like you've had it before & you don't know why.

13 mai 10 10:12 - tree sappy

"Concepts are empty until each person finds what's true about them. True love is what has endured and come through lots of things -- tragedies or upsets or violent temperamental disagreements. Some people find true love much earlier and keep it. In my own case, true love comes with constantly learning about the people you love and keeping your eyes open and caring about them and listening to them. And rediscovering them." -- Vanessa Redgrave

I've said it before & I'll keep saying it: I prefer to have things told to me as a friend & as a lover.

11 mai 10 12:23 - how can life become my point of view

been listening to David Bowie's "Lady Grinning Soul," because I've always loved it, but more importantly - for the first time ever - now I relate to it.

5 mai 10 09:08 - rompers

Watching Beyoncé videos is an exhilirating & somewhat cathartic experience for me. I feel no anxiety, just total appreciation. Last night, I watched her latest video, "Why Don't You Love Me," five times in a row. It's not that I think the song is great or the video that awesome, I just really have fun watching Bey be glamorous & over-the-top. She is a total drag queen. My friend Joseph was right.

23 avr 10 11:55 - b-b-b-big shot

True confession: I've always wanted to shoot a homemade music video to Billy Joel's "Big Shot" starring my good friend Marlo. It'd basically be her at ritzy dining venues all over NYC, strutting around in fur coats, getting in and out of limos, walking a pet leopard.
True confession: I have the worst/best taste in music.

23 avr 10 10:30

New birthday plan: GIORGIO MORODER BIRTHDAY! 10 people max, me in a spandex body suit & platforms, champagne, lasersss. Hey, that sounds a lot like Dylan's party, "XANADONT."

Can't stop:
listening to Donna Summer's "On the Radio"
eating grapefruit with Greek yogurt & raw honey
compulsively reading the same sentences in these Raymond Carver stories
asking people to tell me a scary story
planning my next intra-America adventure
...thinking about going to Jamaica???

Things are not the same since we broke up last June.

30 déc 09 16:20

no shit, sherlock

16 déc 09 15:45

Roy Disney died today. I remember watching him on certain Disney featurettes, the ones they'd play on VHS tapes, right before the main feature. Hearing him talk about animation inspired me to take classes for two summers. I told him this when I met him summer of... 1998? It was Disney World's 25th Anniversary and he was there shaking hands with all the kids, many of them who assumed he was Walt. He never seemed as creepy as that other Disney honcho, Michael Eisner, who knew how to turn on the charm, but only in front of the cameras. RIP, Roy.
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